I finally went to watch Breaking Dawn part 2!! Waited so long and able to get my cousin to watch with me =) Don't know why many people hate this movie and the book or just the movie? I have read all the books before the movie, so don't have any bias or influence by others how bad is the storyline.
I can't say I really love it, but not as bad as people talk about, even though there are some parts I don't like. I not sure whether haters have read the books, becuase if they did, I don't think there are so many haters. I always prefer the book rather than movie version, even though movie put all the important parts together in few hours. I still think the small and detail parts make the story make sense and attractive.
I like how Meyer used Jacod's side of view to tell the part of story instead of all just Bella. There are alos many details caught my attention. When I was finished reading the last sentence of Breaking Dawn, felt complicated feelings..sad and happy. Sad for so fast finished the book and happy for the ending.
Therefore, when I watched the last part of the scene in the movie, all the feelings came back and I almost cried, the background music seriously had big influence!! Really love the second version of A Thousand Years
Friday, 30 November 2012
Thursday, 29 November 2012
Date
I went out for a date, it was not anyone but my mom..lol. Good thing to date with my mom is I no need to spend any single ringgit or cent on anything. Hahaha. I know is bad but no choice still a student, no money treat my mom. The only thing I can do is accompany her to shopping, since my dad doesn't like to shopping.
Actually, I quite curious how other gays shop with their mom, like typical guys always find a seat and waiting the lady to finish? For me, I always standing and walking with mom because she wants my opinion. Don't know why she trusts my fashion sense...lol maybe she doesn't have a daughter so no one can give opinion. She always say how she wished I was a girl when she carrying me...well in a way the wish came true a bit..LOL. Besides that, I consider my fashion sense not so bad, I do give wise and good suggestions for my mum...sometimes.. xD
I think my mum is those hard to serve customers..lol. She is very picky and hard to please, sometimes very hard to find the clothes she wants. Mostly people will get some clothes and try first, but my mum will go to fitting room only she really want to buy. In contrast, I like to take many pieces and try on myself, then only decide. =)
In the end, both of us didn't get anything, I try to save money to go shopping alone. =) Buy christmas gift and CNY clothes..hhehehe. Got an important event, need to suit up, but I have no idea where to get a nice slim fit blazer or coat =( I don't want those typical thick blazer......
Actually, I quite curious how other gays shop with their mom, like typical guys always find a seat and waiting the lady to finish? For me, I always standing and walking with mom because she wants my opinion. Don't know why she trusts my fashion sense...lol maybe she doesn't have a daughter so no one can give opinion. She always say how she wished I was a girl when she carrying me...well in a way the wish came true a bit..LOL. Besides that, I consider my fashion sense not so bad, I do give wise and good suggestions for my mum...sometimes.. xD
I think my mum is those hard to serve customers..lol. She is very picky and hard to please, sometimes very hard to find the clothes she wants. Mostly people will get some clothes and try first, but my mum will go to fitting room only she really want to buy. In contrast, I like to take many pieces and try on myself, then only decide. =)
In the end, both of us didn't get anything, I try to save money to go shopping alone. =) Buy christmas gift and CNY clothes..hhehehe. Got an important event, need to suit up, but I have no idea where to get a nice slim fit blazer or coat =( I don't want those typical thick blazer......
Tuesday, 27 November 2012
Fair + Hairy = Big NO??
Okay I have to say my body hair become harier and hairier (not leg hair..that one is already super hairy). Do I like it? Erm..I also not sure, but if some hotties with hairy body, I don't mind. Well, I have to admit skinny body like mine, cant suit with hairy body. My body is considered fair so not sure how people think about it. Sometimes in gym, some people give the surprise look when they see my body and leg hair. In my mind..."Any Problem??" I guess my hormone is too high..no wonder I feel horny all the time...LOL
I asked both male and female friends (Fair + Hairy)..male friends' responses was a bit not okay about it, while female think it's fine as long as not that super hairy body. Well, some may say look at those Arabic, that only consider hairy okay!! However, with their mostly tough bodies and manly look, they look fine with it.
For me, erm...just overall I don't fit into hairy group, not that I really got manly look nor hot body. Fair skin makes me look so hairy...I guess. Sometimes, lazy to shave (or trim) and just let it be =.=.....Some suggested me don't shave cause the hair will become thicker and haririer. ....-.-...oh dear...Then, if I do something for my leg hair..my brother sure talk about me trying to be pussy =,=
I guess I should get tanned and continue bulk up more ......
I asked both male and female friends (Fair + Hairy)..male friends' responses was a bit not okay about it, while female think it's fine as long as not that super hairy body. Well, some may say look at those Arabic, that only consider hairy okay!! However, with their mostly tough bodies and manly look, they look fine with it.
For me, erm...just overall I don't fit into hairy group, not that I really got manly look nor hot body. Fair skin makes me look so hairy...I guess. Sometimes, lazy to shave (or trim) and just let it be =.=.....Some suggested me don't shave cause the hair will become thicker and haririer. ....-.-...oh dear...Then, if I do something for my leg hair..my brother sure talk about me trying to be pussy =,=
I guess I should get tanned and continue bulk up more ......
My chest also start growing and my hair below belly button is hairier than his (= O =) |
I think he shaved and my skin tone roughly like him...hmm..
Overall, this one definitely okay with hairy body!
This one..not sure he proposely shaved like that or grow like that..lol
Sunday, 25 November 2012
Almost coming out
Erm...have to tell the long story about how it lead to that coming out case happened. Well, I just write in short, had a quarrel with my mum, then confessed I had a suicide thought before. Ya..suicide thought..I really had it because raising in semi-conservative family (anti-gay mother) and the pressure of social norm, when I realized I have affection toward guys in teenage year. I really freaked out, no one can talk with, no one I dare to trust, no one tell or guide me what to do.
That time, I really hope I didn't exist in the world, because I was so scare would bring shame to my family. To escape the thought, I addicted to porn ...wrong way to try avoid the acceptance. Even I was watching gay porn, I still didn't think I'm gay. So conflicted...still thinking to find a girlfriend and deny all the feeling I have. After a few years, found some blogs, only realized I was not all alone, then I truly started accept myself. Thank you the guy who created blog..to allow people to share their stories =)
Opps...Back to topic, was having lunch with my mum. Then, my mum suddenly ask...
Mum: Were you angry with me as I was quite strict during your primary years? Like punished you not doing homework..etc.
Me: No! Why?
Mum: Cause..you know you have confessed you had the.....thought.
Me: Oh!! Erm....(Could feel my heart stop beating...the thought "should I come out" pop out in my mind) Of course not because of that..there were some reasons......
Mum: Why were the reasons??
Me: ..........nothing. It's the past already. So mum how's... (I still not ready to come out, so faster jumpr to other topic.)
Everyone has different definition of right timing to coming out to parents. To me, I don't think I can do that so fast, even though I wish to do it. A lot of things need to take into consideration. Hard homework for every homosexual I think.
That time, I really hope I didn't exist in the world, because I was so scare would bring shame to my family. To escape the thought, I addicted to porn ...wrong way to try avoid the acceptance. Even I was watching gay porn, I still didn't think I'm gay. So conflicted...still thinking to find a girlfriend and deny all the feeling I have. After a few years, found some blogs, only realized I was not all alone, then I truly started accept myself. Thank you the guy who created blog..to allow people to share their stories =)
Opps...Back to topic, was having lunch with my mum. Then, my mum suddenly ask...
Mum: Were you angry with me as I was quite strict during your primary years? Like punished you not doing homework..etc.
Me: No! Why?
Mum: Cause..you know you have confessed you had the.....thought.
Me: Oh!! Erm....(Could feel my heart stop beating...the thought "should I come out" pop out in my mind) Of course not because of that..there were some reasons......
Mum: Why were the reasons??
Me: ..........nothing. It's the past already. So mum how's... (I still not ready to come out, so faster jumpr to other topic.)
Everyone has different definition of right timing to coming out to parents. To me, I don't think I can do that so fast, even though I wish to do it. A lot of things need to take into consideration. Hard homework for every homosexual I think.
Friday, 23 November 2012
That hole
The awesome moment when I put that one thing inside the hole!! At that moment, I felt pleasure, freedom and relief. The moment that I had anticapted for many times and finally I did it!! Maybe the feelings that mentioned can't describe enough how I felt, but I know it's a really happy moment. I really proud of myself to have achieve that although I may not get what I expect, but at least I have done my best!! Goodbye my Thesis!! The moment I submitted inside the hole of box, I really felt a bit sad, becasue it had been with for me one year. I'm like conceived it with all my energy and blood, consider my baby..lol
Freedom!!! Unfortunately, a day to celebrate and party hard, and I'm writing this post!!!! I really need get a life!! Anyone, can bring a super virgin boy out? As literally..virgin for everything!!! Okay, I should start plan my shopping trip and my new transformation to what I want to be.
Sometimes, need to take off the nerdy me and be wild!!! =D At least to know how I really look like, TRUST ME I have NO IDEA how I look without glasses since 9 years (NOT dare to wear contact lens) my power both eyes over 600++ so have to almost stick on the mirror only can see clear image. Hmm...sounds like I'm going to live in double identities...LOL
Freedom!!! Unfortunately, a day to celebrate and party hard, and I'm writing this post!!!! I really need get a life!! Anyone, can bring a super virgin boy out? As literally..virgin for everything!!! Okay, I should start plan my shopping trip and my new transformation to what I want to be.
Sometimes, need to take off the nerdy me and be wild!!! =D At least to know how I really look like, TRUST ME I have NO IDEA how I look without glasses since 9 years (NOT dare to wear contact lens) my power both eyes over 600++ so have to almost stick on the mirror only can see clear image. Hmm...sounds like I'm going to live in double identities...LOL
Wednesday, 21 November 2012
Hot guys everywhere??
Again, I doubt about my standard and way to define a hot guy. I found out my gmy suddenly got a lot of hotties and cutties appear, maybe I'm still new so they maybe have been around just not home member,can go other branches too. Found some of them are really HOT and SEXY.
As a creepy stalker, of course I couldn't miss a chance to look how their naked bodies look like..LOL Oh man..their bodies so gorgeous..how many months and years to get that kind of body. Full of jealous, but could't admit they are really hot and yummy ; )
For cutties, although they don't have the really sexy body, cute and good looking can cover it. Hahaha
Found some pictures and I SWEAR to GOD they really look like that ...lol
The Body
The Face
As a creepy stalker, of course I couldn't miss a chance to look how their naked bodies look like..LOL Oh man..their bodies so gorgeous..how many months and years to get that kind of body. Full of jealous, but could't admit they are really hot and yummy ; )
For cutties, although they don't have the really sexy body, cute and good looking can cover it. Hahaha
Found some pictures and I SWEAR to GOD they really look like that ...lol
The Body
Got a guy like this..(Erm..face does not really match with body) LOL
The Face
Realize big eyes always come with long eyelashes
Tuesday, 20 November 2012
Friend like couple
Now I really know why people around us keep telling me and one of my besties are like couple. The way we talk and interaction really like couple, sometimes those words I use to text or message her have no limit...love you...kiss..hug..all you can think of. If her boyfriend find out, sure will either ask her block my number or kill me..LOL. However, if we were a couple, it would be an interesting couple.
I don't like football, she likes and quite crazy for it
I like chick flick movie, she likes action and horror movie
What I like to eat, she does not really like and vice versa
I don't really play video game, she..love it!
Most important, I think a guy is hot, she totally think in opposite way! LOL
and..etc.
Quite a number of disimilarities, yet I don't know why we became close friend. So nice and comfortable to talk with her, and I really like to tease her!! Full of sacasm in most our conversation, I love her reaction when she realize I'm being sarcastic..lol.
I guess many gays mostly have a female friend like this?? hahaha
I don't like football, she likes and quite crazy for it
I like chick flick movie, she likes action and horror movie
What I like to eat, she does not really like and vice versa
I don't really play video game, she..love it!
Most important, I think a guy is hot, she totally think in opposite way! LOL
and..etc.
Quite a number of disimilarities, yet I don't know why we became close friend. So nice and comfortable to talk with her, and I really like to tease her!! Full of sacasm in most our conversation, I love her reaction when she realize I'm being sarcastic..lol.
I guess many gays mostly have a female friend like this?? hahaha
Sunday, 18 November 2012
Forgive and Apologize
People always say forgive is the key to escape from the pain of revenge that will hurt others and yourself. Sometimes it's quite to forgive a person, when he caused a lot of pain to you and put a sin on you unjsutly. The pain and suffering that make you couldn't get rid of thought of make him live in hell. The anger, the hatred, the revenge...overwhelmed you in mind because we are not human. God can love everyone regardless of anything, but we as human very hard to do that.
What makes you angrier was that person didn't even want to apologize and showed no remorse when everyone proved he is wrong and caused harm to others. You really wanted to do anything to get your revenge back...
Everyone has forgiveness but how to do people really know how to forgive when the anger and revenge are so overwhelming and no one think you are wrong to get revenge??
What makes you angrier was that person didn't even want to apologize and showed no remorse when everyone proved he is wrong and caused harm to others. You really wanted to do anything to get your revenge back...
Everyone has forgiveness but how to do people really know how to forgive when the anger and revenge are so overwhelming and no one think you are wrong to get revenge??
Wonderful Article or Thoughts about Homosexual
Found an interesting article written by a Hong Kong popular artist and DJ- Vincci Cheuk. I didn’t know her at all but I quite like what she had written about homosexual. She is straight but used rational and logical thinking to write this.
First she criticized about people who always equal homosexual with anal sex. Why always think about anal sex when talk about homosexual? When we talking about heterosexual, do they just think about vagina and people having sex? Homosexual is a relationship, not just intercourse, sex is just part of homosexual relationship. Homosexual still include a lot social activities…get to know potential date, confess the love, quarrel for little thing, have dinner at restaurent…not just sex. If those people against is anal sex, should straight away against anal sex including anal sex in Heterosexual. Yes..some of they have anal sex too.
Against Natural Laws
1. Gay couple cannot give birth for next generation. Since when reproduction became an absolute law to judge whether a couple is normal or not? Those heterosexual couple choose to not have children, so they against the natural laws too? Some may say, if all are homosexual then there is no society anymore (no more next generation) Got one philosopher John Corvino said “If all people are Priest, than it also don’t have society too!”
2. No homosexual act in animal world. Please, many studies found that homosexual act also happen in animal world. However, the most important thing is: Why animal behaviours became our ethics’ standard? Some animal won’t raise their children, some will eat their partner when mating, so if human also do that we can use these animal “natural behaviours” to justify?? What really the right natural laws? No one can really define it.
First she criticized about people who always equal homosexual with anal sex. Why always think about anal sex when talk about homosexual? When we talking about heterosexual, do they just think about vagina and people having sex? Homosexual is a relationship, not just intercourse, sex is just part of homosexual relationship. Homosexual still include a lot social activities…get to know potential date, confess the love, quarrel for little thing, have dinner at restaurent…not just sex. If those people against is anal sex, should straight away against anal sex including anal sex in Heterosexual. Yes..some of they have anal sex too.
Against Natural Laws
1. Gay couple cannot give birth for next generation. Since when reproduction became an absolute law to judge whether a couple is normal or not? Those heterosexual couple choose to not have children, so they against the natural laws too? Some may say, if all are homosexual then there is no society anymore (no more next generation) Got one philosopher John Corvino said “If all people are Priest, than it also don’t have society too!”
2. No homosexual act in animal world. Please, many studies found that homosexual act also happen in animal world. However, the most important thing is: Why animal behaviours became our ethics’ standard? Some animal won’t raise their children, some will eat their partner when mating, so if human also do that we can use these animal “natural behaviours” to justify?? What really the right natural laws? No one can really define it.
Friday, 16 November 2012
Semi-transparent Underwear
I went to gym and bumped into a guy (I shall not reveal his name) who was contestant of The Hottest Hunks In Malaysia 2012/2013. As first, I didn't notice it was him, becasue his back facing me, but I could see his well-built back muscles and he is so tall!! Hot! Hot!!
In the locker room, I tried to observe him as there was rumour about his sexual identity. When he was changing his clothes..OMG his body so freaking hot!! Totally like what I have seen in the photos. Hmm..proved that no photoshop used in those photos..Hahaha. Looking at his body, full of jealous and feel he so yummy at the same time ; p.
Then, he turned around and changed his pants, I felt quite SURPRISE becasue his underwear is semi-transparent!! Okay. I know I'm so naive and ignorant, but I really didn't know this thing exist. Too bad, his back facing me so couldn't see how's the front part looks like, but I could still see his almost bare sexy butt..woo~
This makes me wonder, normal guy will wear those undies?? or mostly gay will wear? Maybe he is just metrosexual not what like rumour said about him SINCE I also not dare to wear those undies. From obervation, he still smell so fishy about the question...hahaha
In the locker room, I tried to observe him as there was rumour about his sexual identity. When he was changing his clothes..OMG his body so freaking hot!! Totally like what I have seen in the photos. Hmm..proved that no photoshop used in those photos..Hahaha. Looking at his body, full of jealous and feel he so yummy at the same time ; p.
Then, he turned around and changed his pants, I felt quite SURPRISE becasue his underwear is semi-transparent!! Okay. I know I'm so naive and ignorant, but I really didn't know this thing exist. Too bad, his back facing me so couldn't see how's the front part looks like, but I could still see his almost bare sexy butt..woo~
This makes me wonder, normal guy will wear those undies?? or mostly gay will wear? Maybe he is just metrosexual not what like rumour said about him SINCE I also not dare to wear those undies. From obervation, he still smell so fishy about the question...hahaha
Something like this..his butt is more sexy..LOL
Too bad couldn't see the front part =(
I definitely won't wear this!! Hahaha
|
Wednesday, 14 November 2012
Unforgivable Night with Him
It was a night, his heart was broken because of his lovely girlfriend or should say ex-girlfriend. Precious man’s tear was dropping, and I only could sit beside him while drinking beer with him. Nothing had been spoken, just choking sound could be heard from a tough guy who tried to stop crying.
Before he almost passed out, I faster hold him to the room and thrown him on bed. I tried to arrange him properly to sleep better. Looking his face and gorgeous body by just wearing singlet, it was so tempting for me. I tried to hold myself, but the influence of alcohol kicked in. I finally surrendered to my urge and went to kiss him. His lip was so warm and soft that made me couldn’t resist it.
Then, he suddenly start moving, I got shocked and faster move to aside. What I didn’t expect was that he grabbed my wrist and pull me laying on the bed. He started to take off his singlet and kissing me. I felt so surprise but still enjoying it. His warm and sexy body toally turn me on. Slowly, both of us were naked, we still making out. His defined body muscles totally made my heart races very fast. His chest, abs and strong arm totally couldn’t resist.
At some point, I started to realize he thought I was his girlfriend; the way he kissed and touched me totally was like having sex with female. However, I couldn’t care anymore, I just went with it. He started to finger and lick my bottom, and I quite enjoyed it. Without any hesitations, he very quickly put his tool inside me, I felt so painful. Then, I realized there was a body lotion beside the bed, I didn’t care it works or not, I just applied for his tool. This time, I still felt the pain but slowly I felt the pleasure of it and started moaning.
Before he almost passed out, I faster hold him to the room and thrown him on bed. I tried to arrange him properly to sleep better. Looking his face and gorgeous body by just wearing singlet, it was so tempting for me. I tried to hold myself, but the influence of alcohol kicked in. I finally surrendered to my urge and went to kiss him. His lip was so warm and soft that made me couldn’t resist it.
Then, he suddenly start moving, I got shocked and faster move to aside. What I didn’t expect was that he grabbed my wrist and pull me laying on the bed. He started to take off his singlet and kissing me. I felt so surprise but still enjoying it. His warm and sexy body toally turn me on. Slowly, both of us were naked, we still making out. His defined body muscles totally made my heart races very fast. His chest, abs and strong arm totally couldn’t resist.
At some point, I started to realize he thought I was his girlfriend; the way he kissed and touched me totally was like having sex with female. However, I couldn’t care anymore, I just went with it. He started to finger and lick my bottom, and I quite enjoyed it. Without any hesitations, he very quickly put his tool inside me, I felt so painful. Then, I realized there was a body lotion beside the bed, I didn’t care it works or not, I just applied for his tool. This time, I still felt the pain but slowly I felt the pleasure of it and started moaning.
Tuesday, 13 November 2012
Firework firework!! No!!!!!
I'm rushing my assignment, and those people keep playing firework, which indirectly disturbing me. Why indirectly? My dog barking like crazy becasue of firework. I know it's an important day for them to enjoy and play, but can't they play for awhile is enough? 3 hours until now still playing firework. It really driven me nuts.
The most important thing is they are not playing for fun, they are competing!! See which one got better firework! Omg! I know not just today, Chinese New Year also the same. I hate that day very much too. If you play until 11pm. I understand some may not sleep yet, but after 11pm it is not a good time for young kids especially. My neighbour's baby crying non-stop now too. Poor little baby. You already had fun on countdown night yesterday. I think should be okay to play until 11pm for today.
Maybe I just being too selfish..or if I didn't have my baby, the situation to hate this kind of day would be better, but I don't think I like it.
I'm now plugging earphone into my ear tightly to ignore my baby and the firework. Feel so sorry for my baby, but no choice I have to focus on my assignment. T.T
The most important thing is they are not playing for fun, they are competing!! See which one got better firework! Omg! I know not just today, Chinese New Year also the same. I hate that day very much too. If you play until 11pm. I understand some may not sleep yet, but after 11pm it is not a good time for young kids especially. My neighbour's baby crying non-stop now too. Poor little baby. You already had fun on countdown night yesterday. I think should be okay to play until 11pm for today.
Maybe I just being too selfish..or if I didn't have my baby, the situation to hate this kind of day would be better, but I don't think I like it.
I'm now plugging earphone into my ear tightly to ignore my baby and the firework. Feel so sorry for my baby, but no choice I have to focus on my assignment. T.T
Is beautiful to look it, but painful for some people to hear that!!! T.T |
Monday, 12 November 2012
True Love
Suddenly, have this discussion with friends about what is True Love. From the discussion, I could find that everyone has different definition and understanding about true love. I think how you looking at it also will change when time passes or after you have been into few relationships.
For me at least currently, i think true love is no matter what the person do, you will there for him and to an extreme..sacrifice yourself for him (haha..a bit extreme). At the same time, the person also willing to do the same. Hence, if the person not willing to do so, that means it's not true love?
Nonono...it's still true love when you still very love him and he is the be loved one, while he still love you just that not as much as you. When you start to weigh how much he loves you, then the meaning of true love starts to fall apart. Although you may not get what you expect from him based on your love, but I believe you will still feel the happiness of loving him. Seems like it's higher level, and not everyone can do that, but why don't give it a try????
If you always waiting a person to love you much than you do, it's just a luxury in life. Why not you be the one who love the person so much, if you think his is the right one? Do you really loss anything when you love him much more than he does? In the end, I don't think you will regret it.
Eveyone can has true love, include gay. I believe gays also can find their own true love, sometimes it just depends how much you believe in it =)
For me at least currently, i think true love is no matter what the person do, you will there for him and to an extreme..sacrifice yourself for him (haha..a bit extreme). At the same time, the person also willing to do the same. Hence, if the person not willing to do so, that means it's not true love?
Nonono...it's still true love when you still very love him and he is the be loved one, while he still love you just that not as much as you. When you start to weigh how much he loves you, then the meaning of true love starts to fall apart. Although you may not get what you expect from him based on your love, but I believe you will still feel the happiness of loving him. Seems like it's higher level, and not everyone can do that, but why don't give it a try????
If you always waiting a person to love you much than you do, it's just a luxury in life. Why not you be the one who love the person so much, if you think his is the right one? Do you really loss anything when you love him much more than he does? In the end, I don't think you will regret it.
Eveyone can has true love, include gay. I believe gays also can find their own true love, sometimes it just depends how much you believe in it =)
Sunday, 11 November 2012
What an Unproductive Day....
Today supposed to watch Skyfall with family, but had to rush my assignment, so I gave up the chance T.T Well, think positively gave my parents a chance to have movie date as my mom always complain dad no time to teman her go out. Lol
I almost spent whole day at home, yet still so unproductive for my assignments. Omg..the deadline is so near..like really near!! I should slap myself or anyone can punch in my face to wake me up from dream and get rid of the procrastinate bacteria..
Why so unproductive? Been surfing the internet for hot guys, porn, non-sense stuff and videos from Youtube. What happen to me? I used to be very hard working and good boy, don’t know since when became a procrastinator T.T
Found an interesting video, although it’s so mean to laugh at but it’s so hilarious!!!
I almost spent whole day at home, yet still so unproductive for my assignments. Omg..the deadline is so near..like really near!! I should slap myself or anyone can punch in my face to wake me up from dream and get rid of the procrastinate bacteria..
Why so unproductive? Been surfing the internet for hot guys, porn, non-sense stuff and videos from Youtube. What happen to me? I used to be very hard working and good boy, don’t know since when became a procrastinator T.T
Found an interesting video, although it’s so mean to laugh at but it’s so hilarious!!!
Saturday, 10 November 2012
Real crush but...seems like forbidden!!
Okay. It happened quite randomly..I also didn't expect it, but I got a crush on my friend's brother!! Omg! It may seem normal, but for my case I think it's weird..since I'm still the closet gay and none of my friend knows my true identity. Maybe I think too much, as don't even know he is gay or not, but I suspect though, too bad my gaydar is malfunction =.=
I know it's normal for peole to have feeling for friend's sibblings, but I don't know why I feel weird. Scare my friend will find out I am gay since actually we are NOT very CLOSE? Feel Too weird for her when someone she knows like her brother and is a GUY friend???
Although I mentioned I prefer Asian, but he is mixed with Caucasian blood and definitely look like White, hardly to see any Asian features, so does my friend. However, he just gives me the feelings I like even though he is quite skinny too =) His smile is like OH GOSH! I melt everytime see his photos. Been stalking him on FB quite awhile..lol Well, I didn't expect it because he doesn't match my preferences, but like I said before I will never know what will happen and maybe I will end up with Caucasian. Now, I really fall under what I said =.=!! LIFE!? but not really true since it's just a crush. Sigh...
Too bad, not sure he is gay. but accroding to those stereotypes for gay..he really loves camwhore literally!!..lol Surprisingly, he still doesn't have girlfriend with his gorgeous looking. Even he is gay, feel weird casue keep thinking he is my friend's brother and also my chance is 0.01%..of course he is very nice (good personality!!), but a almost perfect guy like him doesn't even bother think about me. I know where is my place should be.
So hard to find a hot guy picture like him so I just gave up..lol
I know it's normal for peole to have feeling for friend's sibblings, but I don't know why I feel weird. Scare my friend will find out I am gay since actually we are NOT very CLOSE? Feel Too weird for her when someone she knows like her brother and is a GUY friend???
Although I mentioned I prefer Asian, but he is mixed with Caucasian blood and definitely look like White, hardly to see any Asian features, so does my friend. However, he just gives me the feelings I like even though he is quite skinny too =) His smile is like OH GOSH! I melt everytime see his photos. Been stalking him on FB quite awhile..lol Well, I didn't expect it because he doesn't match my preferences, but like I said before I will never know what will happen and maybe I will end up with Caucasian. Now, I really fall under what I said =.=!! LIFE!? but not really true since it's just a crush. Sigh...
Too bad, not sure he is gay. but accroding to those stereotypes for gay..he really loves camwhore literally!!..lol Surprisingly, he still doesn't have girlfriend with his gorgeous looking. Even he is gay, feel weird casue keep thinking he is my friend's brother and also my chance is 0.01%..of course he is very nice (good personality!!), but a almost perfect guy like him doesn't even bother think about me. I know where is my place should be.
So hard to find a hot guy picture like him so I just gave up..lol
Friday, 9 November 2012
Guys with Dog
As usual, staying at home during Friday night, really have to get a nice night life once in a while. Too bad, don't know how to start =( Almost blogging everyday cause nothing to do except study and do assignments x.x
Went to a Park to jogging, and I saw a hot guy walking his dog. I always find a guy having a dog is attractive . I don't know why..just is a kind of charisma attracted me to those hot guys with dog, but the dog must small breed..lol. I feel so weird for myself. When I see a hot guy and he is holding his little baby, really find him extra hot and attractive....hahaha.
Maybe like how women find a guy with children and taking care of them seems very attractive to women? I also find those young daddies quite attractive too..lol.
Went to a Park to jogging, and I saw a hot guy walking his dog. I always find a guy having a dog is attractive . I don't know why..just is a kind of charisma attracted me to those hot guys with dog, but the dog must small breed..lol. I feel so weird for myself. When I see a hot guy and he is holding his little baby, really find him extra hot and attractive....hahaha.
Maybe like how women find a guy with children and taking care of them seems very attractive to women? I also find those young daddies quite attractive too..lol.
The smile!!! Melt~ |
How I wish my dog can be like this..he is so fierce =.= |
Thursday, 8 November 2012
Broad Preferences Gay..Bad?
I went to Green Mermaid coffee shop to do my assignment, don't know why I really like the environment of it, and it makes me focus my assignment without any distraction except...hot guys..lol..maybe this is the reason too..lol. Although their drinks is quite pricey, but food is quite reasonable and well I normally stay there for many hours and using Wi-Fi.
Opps..out of topic again. Okay, went to counter to order my drinks, the barista caught my attention, he got the cute looking and buff body..hmm..don't know consider..hottie or cuttie? He is very friendly..well he should be..then suddenly he said I got free drink from my Mermaid Card because purchased more than 10 drinks.
Oh..so fast..I really go there quite often. However I need to fill up an online survey first =.= He sat beside me and guide me to the website. Oh! Felt so shy got a hot guy sitting so close to me...LOL think too much..but his English a bit lag..so minus a bit mark..hahaha
However, this makes me wonder my preference for guy is too broad..is like almost every guy I think he is quite hot as long as he got a d*ck..lol Sometimes, I think a guy is good looking and attractive, my girl friend just disagree and think just average looking.
Hmm..is that a good thing? To be not so picky..lol. Maybe because I'm not so confidence about my looking so I think I have no right to be picky? Well, my friends keep assuring me my look still can get a cute and pretty girlfriend, but I want cute and hot BOYFRIEND =p. Then, I sincerely think those guys are quite hot..not only the looking but also the feelings or aura they give me.
Opps..out of topic again. Okay, went to counter to order my drinks, the barista caught my attention, he got the cute looking and buff body..hmm..don't know consider..hottie or cuttie? He is very friendly..well he should be..then suddenly he said I got free drink from my Mermaid Card because purchased more than 10 drinks.
My Mermaid card =D Should got the mini version one.. |
Hot Drink always my Favourite =) |
Oh..so fast..I really go there quite often. However I need to fill up an online survey first =.= He sat beside me and guide me to the website. Oh! Felt so shy got a hot guy sitting so close to me...LOL think too much..but his English a bit lag..so minus a bit mark..hahaha
However, this makes me wonder my preference for guy is too broad..is like almost every guy I think he is quite hot as long as he got a d*ck..lol Sometimes, I think a guy is good looking and attractive, my girl friend just disagree and think just average looking.
Hmm..is that a good thing? To be not so picky..lol. Maybe because I'm not so confidence about my looking so I think I have no right to be picky? Well, my friends keep assuring me my look still can get a cute and pretty girlfriend, but I want cute and hot BOYFRIEND =p. Then, I sincerely think those guys are quite hot..not only the looking but also the feelings or aura they give me.
He roughly like this (of course this one cutter)..people might find he is not cute |
Wednesday, 7 November 2012
Peace speech from Gay
Quite excited when I heard Obama won the election, even though not really my business, but maybe he supports gay rights so I like him..lol (so realistic). Does it mean a big change in US in term of diversity? Does it also how the world view gay rights? Well, we will know it when time passes.
As a Pro daydreamer, I always imagine someday one person represent LGBT going on stage in a stadium giving a remarkable speech ( like Martin Luther & Aung San Suu Kyi) about the rights for LGBT. Talking about all the stereotype, discrimination, hatred, despicable..etc that we face and have to deal. The struggle and pain that no one can imagine especially raising in a conservative and strong religous family. There is more painful when your family unwilling to accept and discard you.
Telling that maybe we can live what we want, but to be honest we are human too, in nature we need to be around with people and have good relationships with everyone. No gay couple can live happily when no one glad and bless what they are doing. We always being taught love everyone regardless of sex, status, religion and etc. so when two same sex individuals loving each other without causing any harm to self and others, why they cannot be blessed and accepted?
It is not follow the nature laws? Who can really tell what is the correct nature laws? It's written in book? You set it? We only can say we born like this, even though there are many researches found there is no 100% born to be gay, but they also couldn't prove it's 100% nurture.
What we want just a normal and peaceful life. Are we affecting the next generation? Well, Heterosexual people always the highest population, even children raised by gay couple also not going to be homosexual.
What will happen when LGBT is accepted? I also don't know the pros and cons. However, one thing I really sure is that LOVE, RESPECT, & TOLERANCE will be enter into a better realm of humanity.
Then, everyone stand up and applauses with tear in their eyes....
Hahahaha..I really like daydreaming...provide me a space to escape from the reality for awhile.
As a Pro daydreamer, I always imagine someday one person represent LGBT going on stage in a stadium giving a remarkable speech ( like Martin Luther & Aung San Suu Kyi) about the rights for LGBT. Talking about all the stereotype, discrimination, hatred, despicable..etc that we face and have to deal. The struggle and pain that no one can imagine especially raising in a conservative and strong religous family. There is more painful when your family unwilling to accept and discard you.
Telling that maybe we can live what we want, but to be honest we are human too, in nature we need to be around with people and have good relationships with everyone. No gay couple can live happily when no one glad and bless what they are doing. We always being taught love everyone regardless of sex, status, religion and etc. so when two same sex individuals loving each other without causing any harm to self and others, why they cannot be blessed and accepted?
It is not follow the nature laws? Who can really tell what is the correct nature laws? It's written in book? You set it? We only can say we born like this, even though there are many researches found there is no 100% born to be gay, but they also couldn't prove it's 100% nurture.
What we want just a normal and peaceful life. Are we affecting the next generation? Well, Heterosexual people always the highest population, even children raised by gay couple also not going to be homosexual.
What will happen when LGBT is accepted? I also don't know the pros and cons. However, one thing I really sure is that LOVE, RESPECT, & TOLERANCE will be enter into a better realm of humanity.
Then, everyone stand up and applauses with tear in their eyes....
Hahahaha..I really like daydreaming...provide me a space to escape from the reality for awhile.
Let's hold hand and make the world be peace =) |
Tuesday, 6 November 2012
Am I that straight?
I always wonder whether I really look like straight or doesn't look gay at all? Why I so curious because went to a awkward conversation.
(Hanging out and chilling with friends)
Suddenly..
X: Hey! Why don't you faster get a girlfriend? You sure are a very nice boyfriend..or you actually like guys?
Me: ..........
Y: Hahaha..don't be silly! Is it quite hard Shin Yong is gay.
X: I just kidding only! I know he is not =p
Me: .......... Focus on study first.
I really didn't know what to say at first, in my mind I really want to scream out "Yes! I'm GAY." Well, not sure how's their reaction when I coming out to them since they quite sure I'm not gay. This makes me wonder do I really look that straight or actually what's the criterion to being gay? I guess they normally think all gays are sissy kind of people. Stereotype!! However, I also not that manly too...well..I think look weak (too thin) instead that's why I bulking up now!!
Sigh..stereotype stereotype everywhere...but I do agree most gays have more feminine sides than straight men..
(Hanging out and chilling with friends)
Suddenly..
X: Hey! Why don't you faster get a girlfriend? You sure are a very nice boyfriend..or you actually like guys?
Me: ..........
Y: Hahaha..don't be silly! Is it quite hard Shin Yong is gay.
X: I just kidding only! I know he is not =p
Me: .......... Focus on study first.
I really didn't know what to say at first, in my mind I really want to scream out "Yes! I'm GAY." Well, not sure how's their reaction when I coming out to them since they quite sure I'm not gay. This makes me wonder do I really look that straight or actually what's the criterion to being gay? I guess they normally think all gays are sissy kind of people. Stereotype!! However, I also not that manly too...well..I think look weak (too thin) instead that's why I bulking up now!!
Sigh..stereotype stereotype everywhere...but I do agree most gays have more feminine sides than straight men..
Zachary Quinto!! =D I was quite shocked when he annouced he is gay..lol |
Ricky Martin. Well, he is more macho than many guys ; )
Sunday, 4 November 2012
I'm a lifeless Gay
Just realized how lifeless I am for this few years, no wonder my social circle is so small. If you cant contact me, there are only three places you need to go to find me - my house, Uni and gym. That's all..most of the time you sure find me at any of these places, only few times I'm at other place like shopping mall. My phone also possible whole day no one text and call me. This is my boring life...everyday go Uni..gym..home. No class...still stay at home. Besties? They have their BF and busy life too. Hard to meet them.
Night life?? Oh please..the only time I will back late is either friend's birthday or gathering. To be honest, after 12am my brain start stop functioning and turning into sleep mode. That's why I don't have curfew at all, my mom think it's okay for few times per month or within months!! I am a morning person so when rushing assignment, I always sleep early and wake up early in the morning to do.
Sometimes my friend said I need to get a life...but I don't know how to start. I'm not anti-social just very passive kind of person. Need someone to "lead" or "guide" me..lol.
Night life?? Oh please..the only time I will back late is either friend's birthday or gathering. To be honest, after 12am my brain start stop functioning and turning into sleep mode. That's why I don't have curfew at all, my mom think it's okay for few times per month or within months!! I am a morning person so when rushing assignment, I always sleep early and wake up early in the morning to do.
Sometimes my friend said I need to get a life...but I don't know how to start. I'm not anti-social just very passive kind of person. Need someone to "lead" or "guide" me..lol.
Just staying at home to check out hot guy...lol Should find one day go clubbing. Woot woot~ |
Saturday, 3 November 2012
Biologically Gay..Mentally Straight? Seriously?
*Warning* Please note that what I'm going to write is just from my personal experiences and opinion, cannot be generalized to all people. If I offended anyone..here is a apology flower <l-{} =)
Wandering around a fourm and found an interesting post asking about how to know you are gay. Surpisingly, many people claim that they are biologically gay but somewhat mentally or emotionally attach with female. Hmm..from my experience, I did go through this..phase before I truly accepted who I am. In my opinion, this kind of thought is non-sense or illusion because it's quite hard to be have sex urge for male, but..strong emotion attachment for female?? Some of them said maybe they are Bisexual.
However, from my understanding, Bisexual means you have sexual feeling for both male and female, just that the degree of which sex you prefer is different. I used to have the thought that I am biologically Gay and mentally Straight, but once I accepted who I am..the thought just diminished. The fantasy of having a pretty girl as girlfriend and happy life with her..replaced by a hot guy..LOL. I really used to think find a girl and get married to continue my life since I have strong emotional attachment for girls.
We often underestimate the power of our mind, when you keep thinking gay is not really acceptable in your surrounding, you tend to have this false illusion that you have feeling for girl. Nonetheless, your body tell you the different things. Huamn do have emotional feeling for both Male and Female, friendship is also kind of emotinal attachment. For guys, there is also something call Bromance, because you have the strong attachment for each other, but that is not Romantic LOVE as couple. Having just strong emotional attachment does not mean you love her as a soul mate or beloved. It's not fair for that girl.
Deep down you still want to have strong emotional attachment with guy, but your mind keep telling you it's wrong to like and love guy. You might think sexual feeling is not important anymore when you are being with that person for very long time. Hey! You never take away sexual feeling from romantic love, it is part of the relatioship. Who says when you are old, you cant have sex. It plays an important role in maintaning relationship. Some even said not felt happy and satisfied from the sex experience so don't think he is gay...HELLO..even 100% straight or gay guy also can't find that in every sex.
In the end, Researcher should find out is there really possible to be biologically gay and mentally straight........
Wandering around a fourm and found an interesting post asking about how to know you are gay. Surpisingly, many people claim that they are biologically gay but somewhat mentally or emotionally attach with female. Hmm..from my experience, I did go through this..phase before I truly accepted who I am. In my opinion, this kind of thought is non-sense or illusion because it's quite hard to be have sex urge for male, but..strong emotion attachment for female?? Some of them said maybe they are Bisexual.
However, from my understanding, Bisexual means you have sexual feeling for both male and female, just that the degree of which sex you prefer is different. I used to have the thought that I am biologically Gay and mentally Straight, but once I accepted who I am..the thought just diminished. The fantasy of having a pretty girl as girlfriend and happy life with her..replaced by a hot guy..LOL. I really used to think find a girl and get married to continue my life since I have strong emotional attachment for girls.
We often underestimate the power of our mind, when you keep thinking gay is not really acceptable in your surrounding, you tend to have this false illusion that you have feeling for girl. Nonetheless, your body tell you the different things. Huamn do have emotional feeling for both Male and Female, friendship is also kind of emotinal attachment. For guys, there is also something call Bromance, because you have the strong attachment for each other, but that is not Romantic LOVE as couple. Having just strong emotional attachment does not mean you love her as a soul mate or beloved. It's not fair for that girl.
Deep down you still want to have strong emotional attachment with guy, but your mind keep telling you it's wrong to like and love guy. You might think sexual feeling is not important anymore when you are being with that person for very long time. Hey! You never take away sexual feeling from romantic love, it is part of the relatioship. Who says when you are old, you cant have sex. It plays an important role in maintaning relationship. Some even said not felt happy and satisfied from the sex experience so don't think he is gay...HELLO..even 100% straight or gay guy also can't find that in every sex.
In the end, Researcher should find out is there really possible to be biologically gay and mentally straight........
Somehow quite curious about Bisexual
Thursday, 1 November 2012
Find out Gays at Gym
Getting ready to go gym after group meeting, my friend suddenly felt period cramps very badly, and this was her first time. I was like O.O really? I suggested some methods for her to feel better..but I didn't realize..she might think HOW THE HELL..I know all these stuff, especially from a nerdy guy!!! LOL..OMG..I think hang out too much with girls..since they really don't bother to talk girl issues (even some dirty secrets) infront of me...maybe I really look turstworthy for them.
*Clear throat* Sorry.back to topic. I went to gym and when I was working out, found interesting phenomena or scene. There was few young girls doing some new exercises (like last time I did..it was so painful), then got one exercise they have to position..like plank, so their buttock raised up. Now here is the interesting part, there sure got people pass by.
Sitting in a nice spot, I tried observed how guys reacted to that scene. As expected, those uncles and guys look staight automatically focus on those..butts..when passing by..lol Those I think are gays..hmm..just looked for mini seconds and didn't show any interest..some even didn't bother to look at. Hahaha. I have to claim that those girls are pretty not average looking...nice bodies the same time.
Of course, I can't really judge like that since sometimes I will also look at those ladies with nice bodies. Who doesn't like beautiful things. However, it's interesting how a guy look at female in gym because most of the time the sport wears are quite tight and...sexy design..lol. For me, my focus only on guys in gym..too focus on them until forgot got females in the gym..lol
*Clear throat* Sorry.back to topic. I went to gym and when I was working out, found interesting phenomena or scene. There was few young girls doing some new exercises (like last time I did..it was so painful), then got one exercise they have to position..like plank, so their buttock raised up. Now here is the interesting part, there sure got people pass by.
Sitting in a nice spot, I tried observed how guys reacted to that scene. As expected, those uncles and guys look staight automatically focus on those..butts..when passing by..lol Those I think are gays..hmm..just looked for mini seconds and didn't show any interest..some even didn't bother to look at. Hahaha. I have to claim that those girls are pretty not average looking...nice bodies the same time.
Of course, I can't really judge like that since sometimes I will also look at those ladies with nice bodies. Who doesn't like beautiful things. However, it's interesting how a guy look at female in gym because most of the time the sport wears are quite tight and...sexy design..lol. For me, my focus only on guys in gym..too focus on them until forgot got females in the gym..lol
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)