To be honest, I still don't know what am doing now is what I want even though I'm satisfied almost everything in term of working, relationship and etc. One day, my boss called me and had a talk with me. She said I'm lost and don't know what I want. According to her, it's something personal that I need to overcome by myself if not anywhere I go will still be the same....LOST.
Not showing off but I know I have been living comfortably since I born because my dad settle everything. I no need to worry about no car, no place to live when I live by myself, no money to spend when jobless etc. However, is it a good thing for me? I used to have a thought giving up everything, and go to a new place without any support of my dad. Can I really survive? or do I really willing to leave my comfort zone?
My dad also encourage me to be more independence because maybe when he getting older and older. He is the one who need my support for living, I can't rely on him every single time. I also used to have dream which is join those volunteer organizations and go around the world or locally help those people who needed help the most. However, I thought that dream is a bit unrealistic for me because knowing myself, I don't think I can handle and live that kind of life.
Maybe I had that dream because I felt like need to do something meaningful in life.
For love life, of course I got complaints yet sweet memories at the same time. Sean rarely shares what in his mind, so sometimes I also feel lost about what are we now. Is he still happy spending time with me? or blah blah blah....but I know it will go endlessly if I keep ruminating like this. Holding advice from my friend, we will never know what happen next, so I just appreciate and value all the things I have including him. Maybe I know one thing I want in life is him so put too much thought on him while he knows most of the things he wants so our priority is a bit different.
Hence, I need find out what I want from other parts of my life and put more effort on them. Life is not just about love, I have my own life need to work on too. Think properly about my future, and find a better way to be more independence and looking for right direction of life.
|Find your purpose of life and rock the world!!! xD|