Lost Myself again and again

Don't know why recently I feel quite lost about my self, I started to ask who I really am and what do I want for life? Same as before I hadn't accepted myself as gay but not I did still many questions about my life. Maybe I just still considered quite new as gay in term of acceptance of myself.

Is being gay just part of life only? You still like ordinary person..study or work, finding love, eat, sleep, social..etc. Does it incluences you whole parts of life??

 Well, to me I have no idea, I still the one I used to be, just that gained a lot experiences that I couldn't imagine. Accepted myself as gay did affect some part of me, I became more outgoing a bit and not sure bad or not...also bitchy a bit..LOL

Also want to improve my appearance to attract same sex but not opposite..lol We like some kind of birds where the males are the one with beautiful feather to attract mates ; )

However, at some point, I start to doubt what is being gay? Of course everyone got different answer but do we have some general guideline??? Everytime, when people ask what is my plan for my future, I always don't know how to answer. I have no idea what my future going to be or to be more precise...I don't know what I want in the future.

Finding true love? Well, that one I don't put it as a very large part in my life. I also want other things too..something that when I'm old sitting on a moving chair and looking back my life...I will just smile and close my eyes.

Maybe I'm still young and many things have to explore first. We are growing and learning in every step on the way of our journey.

Sometimes you are the one who decide what kind of journey you want while not waiting fate come to you.

Well, there is always a light of hope for you. Just don't give up.

Vocal Attraction??

Do you think a guy's voice almost important to you? like it's going to turn you off when you don't like his voice??

To me, it's playing a quite important role, I have met some guys very hot but once they open their mouth...it's kind of turn off. Of course  I still don't mind his voice if he got hot body and good looking xD

Some may say voice reflects how the person looks like, not just that personality, characteristic and etc also included. However, not really all sexy and attractive voice are good looking or what because the sexiness and attractiveness of the voice are different from each individual.

I got one friend, she put voice as very important thing for her to select guy. When a good looking guy with 'turn off' voice and average guy with 'turn on' voice, she will definitely pick the average guy.

People generally think deepest voice is sexiest, but it doesn't mean also very attractive to some people. I don't really like deep deep punya voice, I prefer mild and..how to say...can sense confident from his voice?? but not arrogant and bitchy kind of voice..LOL

On that note, a study found that the chances of males with deepest voice one are GAY quite HIGH !! ...LOL Not sure is true or not, since haven't explore much *wink wink*

*Tuls reminded me* Sometimes guys normally sound so sexy but when they havinng some..ehem..ehem exciting activity, the moan or enjoying sound may be different. Some become sexier some..erm...LOLLLLLL

Don't like your own voice?? Here a advice: *lazy to paraphrase*

"Although we cannot alter our hormones to make our voice more masculine or feminine, there are certain things we can do to improve the way we sound when we speak. Maintaining a positive and generous attitude when speaking is an easy way to seem more approachable and engaging to others."

How you all think about it??

Forgot that One Thing ; )

"I don't I don't.........And you've got that one thing" everytime I listen to this song, it always lead me to another thing, thanks to my friend told me that one thing is refer to female private part =.= but looking the lyrics it quite make sense..LOLLL

Ehem..ehem..okay back to topic.  On my way to improve my appearance, I totally forgot one important thing. What I call inner beauty or whatever.

I forgot that even your appearance is good, but personality and attitude sucks, any kind of relationship also cannot last so long. I know myself got a lot of flaws and also understand no one is perfect, but it doesn't mean bad attitude and behaviour can remain.

Time to evaluate and reflect myself...but one problem is that you always the last one notice your own problem until people point it out.

Hence, at this kind of time, having some straight forward or bitchy personality kind of friends is very good. They would like to shoot you until you die...lol

I should create a questionnaire and let my close friends to answer..if they feel sorry point it out right in front of me ; ) Well, I don't think they will feel sorry to say out loud. xD I should wear bullet proof jacket on that time.

Of course, I will take note and see whether is true or not since they sometimes like to say nonsense..lol

Found something very funny..couldn't stop laughing!!

*Warning* After seeing this, it can't be unseen anymore. It may ruin your childhood.

>>> Click me or not ; ) (You can click on that pic and will auto enlarge)



Obviously, it will never be my problem..just hope got someone love me..LOL

Love love love~

Time for some matured and quality content (Mr. Leonut reminded me), if not my blog going to be full of slutty posts. Like one day meet someone, when they know my blog they will respond "Oh! That slut!" but I guess I'm not the worse yet....LOLLLL *wink wink*

*Long post..bear with me*

Okay..LOVE!! Of course talking about love in gay relationship. How we define it?? It can last forever?? Does it really exist or just illusion?? Ask 10 people you will mostly get 10 different asnwers. It all depends how you experience, discover, and truly understand it. We can't deny we are horny all the time or..just me?? LOL but we need to find balance with love..I don't believe you feel very horny forever..sure will decline. xD

 Three components of love from “Triangle Theory of Love,” was developed by Dr. Robert Sternberg.

Intimacy – The friendship or specialness of the relationship.  The feelings of closeness, bondedness, connectedness, trust, and friendship in the relationship.

Passion – The excitement or energy of the relationship.  The feelings of physical attraction, romance, and arousal (particularly sexual arousal) in the relationship.

Commitment – The “business aspect” of the relationship.  This includes all the shared investments, or the “history,” of the relationship, such as decisions, experiences, and adjustments

Three components will form different....kind of love or affection.

1. “Friendship” ~ Intimacy Only (No Passion or Commitment) – Can be summed up as having intimacy with one another, feeling close,  & trusting one another. (This one is sweet, please! you can love your friends too...but maybe that's why a lot friendzoned!!!! because people feel secure in this kind of relationship!!!!)

2. “Infatuation” ~ Passion Only (No Intimacy or Commitment) – This tends to be a superficial relationship that is one-sided, where the couple are temporarily ga-ga over one another.  In Hollyword, this is known as a “whirlwind romance.” (We mostly fall on this and mistook this as love..superficial as we are..hard to avoid it but we will learn from mistake!!! =)

3. “Empty Love” ~ Commitment Only (No Passion or Intimacy) – This is most often an older relationship where the passion and intimacy have died…like “falling out of love.” (The reason people don't believe in true love because this is the cheating stage BUT not all couples will go through just depends how you maintain your relationship!!!!)

4. “Romantic Love” ~ Intimacy & Passion (No Commitment) – This can be a blossoming relationship where the couple feel like best friends (“friends with benefits”).  As experiences grow with one another, this type of love may develop Commitment. (What most gays want but they don't know it cannot last forever, there are other things to maintain the relationship. Passion is good and pleasure, but human very hard to learn it fade quickly and meaningless in a way.)

5. “Companionate Love” ~ Intimacy & Commitment (No Passion) – Again, this usually occurs in older relationships where the couple remain best friends, but no longer feel passion for one another. This type of love can still be very satisfying and long-lasting. (Somewhat not ideal but still can find it on many gay couples which being together for more than 10 years, but this the time something need to add on to make the relationship forever =)

6. “Fantasy Love” ~ Passion & Commitment (No Intimacy) – This is a feeling of love because the couple wants to be in love…but they really have little in common. (Mostly horniness and loneliness kick in..that's why some gay couples fall in love because of want fall in love not really LOVE each other)

7. “Non-Love” ~ All Sides Absent (No Passion, Intimacy or Commitment) – Basically, this type of relationship is of just an acquaintance. (No comment..LOL)

8. “Complete or Consummate Love” ~ (All Sides Present) – The best of all types, the “ideal relationship,” that all couples would like to achieve. (Ultimate goal and hard to achieve but doesn't mean you can't!!! I know it's very hard for gays to achieve but come on!! At least believe on it)

Why many gay relationships cannot last very long?? because many of them so into passion!! When it fades..which mean the relationship cannot last long. Only commitment will kind of maintain the relationship, some even straight away break up. However, there are something more meaningful can add on and make you experience another kind of love...

To be continue....

Daddy's Time?? ; )

Okay this one I think can consider sex buddy, and we met before – this one. He is indeed I can call him uncle already..lol (a way more younger than my dad..okay??) but I have to say his body can fight with those models. xD

He used to have very hot body but few years laid back so no more, then recently took one year to build back his muscular body. No really defined abs but for his age he is in very good condition…lol

This time I was used to something entering me, and omg..he so fast found my g-spot…=.= so skilful and even explain to me what and how is it. He said got two levels and he going to break through all tonight…=.=

After almost an hour, we had break then he gave me half an hour lecture about relationship and safe sex.  At some point, I almost fell asleep..LOLLL  but I have to admit what he said really some wise advices. I could sense that he went through a lot of drama…tragedies or whatever.

He is one of those gays that don’t believe in true love anymore.  Well, I respect his thought so does he to respect me as believe in true love. However, one thing we agreed was that never never use SEX as maintaining your relationship. Common interest is very important!!!

After second round, he said good top must care about bottom’s feelings, not just after climax then done…LOL.. Hence, we cuddled and had pillow talk. He said soon I will not seek for matured guy anymore, I will go through another stage…really?? LOL 

I really will go for guys I know…it’s a way better than meeting random guys. Looking for relationship also quite hard for me =.= but he kept saying I got good looking base just to need to bulk and be CONFIDENT!!! He said I have very low confident that’s the thing pull me down. Hmmm…

Muscular Limit

I really cannot sleep late, now I really feel like hangover. =.=  Hence, this post just roughly talk about this topic...and got picture picture and picture only....

Remember what I have bitching with Wind wind about I really love those muscular guys. Well, I bet most gays will drool when see a guy with muscular body, just depends how big the muscles you like.

Everything has limit so does your body size, if you are over bulked up your body, you are super muscular but not attractive to me anymore.  Now let's see what's my limit:  *Just my personal preference*

Out of my Limit 

No.1

This one smaller a bit better

No.2

Not sure is pose or...just too triangle

No.3

A bit scary to me..xD

No. 4

In a way still....but I bet some will like it

No. 5

This one not sure photohopped or what..that CHEST!!!!

No. 6

He is cute but...big!!! LOL

Within my Limit =)

No. 7

Acceptable =)

No. 8

This one just nice..overall =D

No. 9

Oh!! Little facial hair and that body... xD

No.10

Like the Chest =)

No. 11

Smile + Body = HOT!!!!

No. 12

A bit thin but still very nice =)

Which one make you feel "hungry"??? ; ) I expect someone will reply none..LOL

Huge Decision!!!!!

Okay. I need kind of hibernate or I should say stay away from the wild world for a period of time. Why and what I'm going to do? I recently got interested on a guy..yeah I know I got a lot of crushes but this time I take it serious. Plus, he is also our kind and friend's friend but I not dare to approach him with current stage. Moreover, I also need to focus my study!!!

Therefore, I give myself 4-5 months to improve my appearance (and STUDY), and of course from hard work no knife will be involved. You may say just be yourself and who you are!! Well, in a way I still myself just want to improve my appearance..nothing wrong right??  

My face can't do much expect wear contact lens and settle my serious dark circles..but someone said I look like those NS Singaporean just haven't bulked up...-.-

Maybe by that time I achieve the target, that guy already not avaible but my market sure better compare to now. Hence, there are things help me to achieve the target!!

-Delete Jackd and related apps  (checked)

-Join gym (checked)

-Perseverance & motivation (checked) That guy & My dream

-Get used to contact lens (in progress) Mr. Joker has told me to throw away my glasses hundred times

-Set library and gym as second home (checked)
-Swim 3 times per week (in progress)

-Sex buddy (checked) This one is very important, without him I may go back wild. xD

Hopefully, everything goes what I planned but always end up not I want....NO!! Touch wood touch wood!!!! I will still blog because can't live without it currently..xD

This one already considered hard for me but I can do it!!!!!!

Mama's Gay Boy

Here is the next gay short film and love the ending so much =)

This film showing the issue we as gay always have to face - period of closeted. One of the reasons affects it was discussed in previous post. We know when we are in a relationship, it's very difficult to maintain when one or both of you have to date secretly, which you need to have public dating as little as possible. Hide here and there, cant bring him home for family dinner or anything.

When you are totally closeted, you even not dare to intro your boyfirend to clsoe friends. In the film, Sam is a closeted mama's gay boy.  That's the worse case for the his boyfriend because everything he will listen to his mum and obey whatever she say.

I'm so scare I will be like Sam when having a relationship, not sure when to come out because of mama's boy and let boyfriend like waiting forever. Or like Eric have to wait my boyfriend to really accept our relationship.

However, I do believe love can help you overcome all these things. Love one scene from a movie about a gay couple:

The Only Bloodline

Recently, I watched two wonderful gay short films and they made me think a lot about myself in term of future.

From this film, it's the first problem for many gays - continue your bloodline of family, especially you are the only son in the family. In tradition Asian culture, family always in priority, the reputation and name of the family. Some may say Gays sacrifice individual happiness for family happiness or whatever but think about it...it all just how you define and understand it. When a family member is happpy, it also means the happiness of the family.

I feel quite lucky my family got nothing a lot but Sons..lol..but I already feel so hard to accept and willing to come out. Therefore, I roughly can know how hard it is for those gays who are the only son with the invisible pressure and burden for them...surrogate maybe an option but not all gay couples can affort and also some legal issues.

Crush Crushes on You

Opened Jackd at my gym, as usual got a lot of hot guys, but what I didn't expect was got one guy with hot body faceless pic texted me and his distance so freaking near. He got interest on me quite a while and asked whether want have fun in shower room.

Then, went inside the locker room, OMG!! That guy was my new crush in gym!!!! (FYI, He is just around my age) He already took off his clothes and wrapping with towel and hinted me to go shower room.

Without any second thoguht, I straight away took off my clothes and followed him. Luckily, it's not peak hour so no one at there. We went into same shower room..then...*ehem ehem* Super nice body with delicious chest..defined abs...wide shoulder...strong arm*blushing*

He fetched me to go back my house, mana tau he actually staying just near my area!! OMG!!! Before I left the car, he grabbed my hand and said glad to meet me and hope can see me again with that perfect smile...*my heart totally melt* Then, he wanted a good bye kiss so I slowly went closer to his sexy lip and....*HEY!! I just met you and this is crazy...!!!* My alarm..Call Me Maybe rang.... =.=

And I had no idea I already got wet. Well, what a wonderful early morning to start off but the dream really felt so real!!! Aww....how I wish... =(

Went to Uni and only realized today no class!!!! WTF!!! Woke up so early if not I could have my wet..erm...sweet dream again..LOL Okay la..listened to Adlexus went to gym. Luckily, my gym is super near my Uni =D

Body is like this but the Face a way beter than this ; ) (Not in my dream, real life he is like this)

Snap and Abs

My 100th post!!! So fast...=D

Saw a....erm..hot guy? but he also cute at the same time. Anyways, want to snap his photo to share with a lonely bitch ; ) LOLL (Don't kill me) I have to admit my skill of snap photo secretly really bad. So hard for me to take a clear photo. 

At the end, took a blur and made that hottie looked ugly..so sorry for him..LOL but that bitch still could see his ncie body ; )

It makes me feel so bad when I'm around the gym...everyone so freaking well-built =.= How I wish I can go approach and social with them but...socially awkward person I am...better not. 

Got a new crush at there, but don't think he is not our kind =( Can't imagine got person so perfect like him in term of appearance..the gorgeous look and hot body but not sure his personality la..lol

His friends all also not bad one, today brought a new guy and omg even though he is not buff as my crush but he definitely a A quality hottie with defined ABS!!!! Not like those scary monster abs but just nice.  I always think those models in magazine for sure their abs got edited.

However, this guy really got the abs I have seen in magazines O.O Maybe is normal for you all but I hardly to see real abs..LOL

For my progress, I can roughly see my one pack coming out..LOLLL

 

Just nice?

More like this..hmmmm

How about this?

Normal outing??

Went out with a guy I know from Jackd, he is an Asian from US, just staying here for few days. Nope..no 'fun' involved this time. Was 100% just chatting and sharing every thing. I have to say it's the most wonderful and inspiring chat I had.

He is very active in US by involving in legalise same-sex marriage in US. I have learned a lot of things from him. About what really is accept yourself, the problems of gay at here, what really is love and relationship for us. I like his ambition and vision about making all the states in US legalise same-sex marriage. The community he joined fights for gay rights.

He said at US mostly gays are quite united. That's why over there really got normal outing with new people not like here mostly seeking for fun or feel fear to meet new people?? He encourages people to be active to make homosexual as a common thing in society. We can't always blame society but also should take action to change the society.

Well, he also think it's quite hard for gays at here to change that fast but US there went through stage like us. For my opinion, I also not sure how gay world going to be in the future..maybe after 50 years only majority will accept homosexual?? I don't know...

We also touched up a bit on coming out issue. He did give some courages to me come out to friends. He said I have too many burdens and think too much, sometimes we should think that coming out to friends can make the bond becomes stronger, especially you think they are your close friends.

At the end, I have to say he is really a fully accepted himself and matured gay I have ever seen. He is so proud of himself and just totally be himself without concern about how others see him. Like he said..we can please everyone when we already tried our best. It's my pleasure to know such a person. I told him he can become a great counselor..LOL

A Wonderful Morning???

Woke up early in the morning before the Sun says hello to evryone. Why so early? Have to meet my beloved - Shadow Wind z.z Due to many reasons, he only frree on morning and the timing is terrible jam time so I had to depart early a bit.

Knowing him quite a while, first time to meet him and picked up this cute twink for breakfast. He's not KL person but I thought he sort of know his area (temperory staying)..mana tau he has no idea at all...so we had no idea where were we going to. At the end, saw the yellow light!!! The Old Town white coffee!!!!

I had no idea how far we already went but as long as got place to sit and eat =.= Even we don't know each other for too long, but we got many things to bitch around..such a nice friend to have = ) We also chatting with other Hiao United by phone..lol... It's so nice you don't need to hide anything like I hanging around with my other friends..so many things cannot disclose =(

Soon, we changed to another place to have second round ; ) Yeah..he said I'm a monster..still can eat somemore. Then, slowly drove back his area and found shop house!! Thank God!! Had Dim Sum and continue bitching around.

THat boy keep saying he is fat =.= Well, if he standing with me of course looks bigger a bit..LOLLL but he looks totally fine. I guess all of us never satisfy with our look ; )

Gay sibling

I have had a weird dream, having some family time in living room. Suddenly, one of my brothers stood up and said "Dad..Mum..I'm gay." The living room became super dead and no one said anything...until my mum shouted "No!!!!" and run away while crying...so dramatic Dream..LOL

This make me wonder, I rarely or never to hear about gays got gay sibling, (since I haven't explored much) I only know when a family got many sons then the youngest has higher chance is GAY. Well, my case can give support to it!! Hahahahahaha In addition, studies that conducted on Twins also found mostly only one boy of the twin is gay but not another. Mostly I know is gay cousin but not sibling. It would be interesting and cool to have a gay sibling. On the top of that, both of you have to be close.

However, I think when you find out each other is gay, both of you mostly will become closer??? Imagine you can share whatever thing to him and so does he, bitching around..he become your best bitch and brother at the same time...hmmm. Or it would be awkward?? xD

Then it comes to another horrifying thing, when both of you coming out to parents!! Should coming out together?  so parents just get heart attack once? or one by one when your parents already immunned to it?? Like I already got one son is gay, doesn't matter another is also..LOL

Anyone out there got gay sibling??? Really curious how it feels and looks like...=)

Public "Fun"

No doubt I have heard a lot of stories about having 'fun' in the public. Just wondering whether everyone got that kind of fantasy?? or actually everyone does just not all people dare to do so??

If you let me choose..maybe shower room in public?? but of course I prefer own private space ; ) I definitely not dare do it in gym, but swimming pool maybe..LOL

Since I stepped into the wild world, don't know why I started encoutered some wild stuff. Take one as example, after finished work out, going to take my car. Nowadays, mall is so dangerous so I kept looking around to stay alert...mana tau nanti got people rape me...LOL

Heard a car's engine on so automatic looked at it, Wow..a straight couple making out rigorously inside the car..hahaha They definitely saw me but didn't bother. Was right in front of my car, so I took my step slowly to get off..LOL

They seriously...ehem ehem...so 'hungry' like that. Formal shirt fetish strike..that guy wearing formal shirt and good looking..made me excited too..LOL They chose the peak hour to do that..hmm...there is a hotel super near..can't just go there?? Well, doing it public feel different..I guess.

Okay la I know I shouldn't kacau them so I faster started my car and went off. At that time, couldn't see the lady's head inside the car and you can know where she had gone to...LOLLLLL

Oh!!!! My friend encountered one lagi Wild. Threesome in public toilet even asked my friend wanted to join?? She was like WTF man...hahaahahaha

So far, I still not dare to do it in public as I'm really scare people find out my true self..xD

Shower shower~ xD

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dare in Public?  ;)

Nice bitch Hatred bitch

Today went out with that queen of bitches, Joker and quite a nice outing, but don't think for him...because he said I'm so boring and never go out with me again..LOL Well, I have to admit I'm a boring kind of person, sometimes I'm a freak to my friends..xD

Don't know why he gave me the feeling like he got aristocrat aura..hahaha Erm..if we were cat, maybe he were persian cat (Talking about the cat's personality..no other meaning)...=) I guess strong pride..a bit arrogant....etc and of course Cute~ Don't angry for what I said just briefly analysis as haven't known him very well so can't go into deep part.  Just laugh those off. =) *Peace*

Hahaha..sorry la due to some reasons, got that habit of analyze people's personality ; )  He is very nice and awesome bitch that you can't miss him up in your journey of life ; )

Watched Les Miserable, it was nice and got some parts almost made me cry.T.T Feel like going to watch musical show now. Long time  haven't been any muscial shows.

Supposed go to gym but I ended up sitting on the sofa playing with phone to kill some times...loll Then, that's the time I met this bitch. I saw a guy walking to my direction and sitting next to me. He is hot so kept my eyes on him for a while. This bitch..I think his bf or what, caught me looking at him. He used that contempt and full of hatred eyes looked at me. =.=

I was..opps okay sorry..continue play my phone..but that bitch faster asked his bf move to other seat. His bf asked why, that bitch said not a nice spot then looked at me. I was like WTF!!! I just looked at your bf for a while...not that I went kacau him or what. So precious..don't let him go out in public la!! Isn't that should be happy your BF still can attract people eyes -.-

Anyways, regardless of that today was a ncie day for me ; )

Persian Cat~  Meow~

That moment!!!

Due to my sickness, I have been trapped inside the hosue for four days, which also means absent for gym. Feel so guilty now..should do some simple work out at home.

Because my throat still feel a bit pain, past few days I only can eat porridge, bihun soup, bread and milo. That evil bitch  Joker kept talking about food with me!! That queen of bitches. I'm really craving for food that can excite my taste buds T.T

Luckily, today I could have that moment!!! go out to have some fresh air. Went to restaurant to have tasty food but couldn't that too heavy. My mum said still haven't fully recovered so she also not allow me go out into crowd or public so much cause body still recovering many bacteria outside =.=

One more thing, was playing with match finder in Jackd..clicked interested on one guy. Suddenly, pop up he also interested on me too. o.O Didn't know got such person exist. (To my hiao bitches...he is 2x only okay??!!) However, that guy maybe clicked wrongly or what...he's so freaking passive. I message one thing, he replies one. I really bad at maintain a nice convo!!! He expects me to talk more or he just not really interested..what the heck....=.=

No! He is not like that..just find this guy hot especially the chest..Oh My xD

The Fear!!!!

Being sick for this few days, I feel like back to babyhood, my mum taking care of me like baby, except carry me up since I'm taller and bigger than her...LOL

My mum usually like to nag and complain about us, but when we are sick or what she instantly back to instinct motherhood...full of warmness and caring. This make realize why I so afraid of coming out to my mum. After reading Rick's post, it made me think about it seriously too. Maybe I worry and scare that once my mum know my true self, she won't treat me in the same way again.

Maybe I read too many sad cases from gays' coming out and think too much, but I can't avoid this kind of thought. I'm sure many gays also afraid of that, and that's why very hard to open mouth say "Dad..Mum..I'm gay." I really can't imagine how my mum going to react, as for my dad I think he can accept it quite fast same as my second brother too...well at least faster than my mum.

Being sick really makes me got a lot of spare time to think many things by staring at the ceiling..LOL I guess when we are born, the journey is already not easy to go, especially hit on puberty. The more clearer your difficult pathway going to be.

 Luckily got blog to express my feeling and thought, and met some awesome hiao bitches [you know who you are ; )] at least my difficult journey got them...

That pain!!

What nice way to start my new year, woke up and felt my throat super painful!!! Faster go visit my family doctor...

D: Open your mouth

Me: Ahhh

D: Oh my, you are having tonsillitis (inflammation of the tonsils), maybe need to do surgery.

Me: o.O!!!

D: Just kidding, your case not that serious, but have to take care though (Knowing him for so many years, didn't know he got troll side)

The antibiotic too strong, I puke whatever I have eaten after the meds. T.T When approaching to night...fever until 39 °C  @.@ Now I still feel pain to swallow anything....even water (x.x)

My bro back from oversea and staying here for few months. He bought my first Abercrombie & Fitch t-shirt to me!! but I have to say...it's so freaking UGLY!!!!! Since when his taste became so bad =.=

Please tell me I'm wrong T.T

First-(s)

First post of 2013!!!!! Happy New Year!!! =D Review back 2012 I just realized I got a lot of First-s in that year.

First time to acknowledge myself as part of gay world, first blog, first gym membership, first gay friend, first..ehem..'fun', first bitches gang and many more.

2012 is really a year that I never forget, it's a milestone for me and changed my direction of life that I used to avoid!!! Whole new journey of my life, as not what I have planned. I need to reconsider what is important in my life now.

No more denial made me feel relieve and become happier now. Although I know this new journey is not easy to go, but I believe one day when I looking back the paths of the journey, I will never regret my choice.

I'm really excited about 2013!! Wondering what are waiting for me to go through.

Mini 2013 resolution
-Get super good results for my study
-Gain more weight
-Get 6...no..erm..4 pack abs..LOLL
-Get a date

Wish everyone have wonderful year!!! =D

Don't think I got effort to achieve this =.=
 

This should be okay for me...hmmm