Wednesday, 30 January 2013

Lost Myself again and again

Don't know why recently I feel quite lost about my self, I started to ask who I really am and what do I want for life? Same as before I hadn't accepted myself as gay but not I did still many questions about my life. Maybe I just still considered quite new as gay in term of acceptance of myself.

Is being gay just part of life only? You still like ordinary person..study or work, finding love, eat, sleep, social..etc. Does it incluences you whole parts of life??

 Well, to me I have no idea, I still the one I used to be, just that gained a lot experiences that I couldn't imagine. Accepted myself as gay did affect some part of me, I became more outgoing a bit and not sure bad or not...also bitchy a bit..LOL

Also want to improve my appearance to attract same sex but not opposite..lol We like some kind of birds where the males are the one with beautiful feather to attract mates ; )

However, at some point, I start to doubt what is being gay? Of course everyone got different answer but do we have some general guideline??? Everytime, when people ask what is my plan for my future, I always don't know how to answer. I have no idea what my future going to be or to be more precise...I don't know what I want in the future.

Finding true love? Well, that one I don't put it as a very large part in my life. I also want other things too..something that when I'm old sitting on a moving chair and looking back my life...I will just smile and close my eyes.

Maybe I'm still young and many things have to explore first. We are growing and learning in every step on the way of our journey.

Sometimes you are the one who decide what kind of journey you want while not waiting fate come to you.

Well, there is always a light of hope for you. Just don't give up.

28 comments:

  1. Like Phillip sing,
    If you get lost, you can always be found
    Just know you're not alone..

    * stay strong * =)

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    1. Need to listen to that song now..

      Thanks a lot :)

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  2. Huggies buddy! Will PM n talk to u soon.

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    1. Thanks : D Start to wait now..but I will away from Myls and back after three days :)

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  3. what being gay is?i gonna blog about it,you gave me an idea,and please approve my fb request,i had added you:D

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    1. You're welcome =)

      Erm..I guess you added the wrong person?? LOL

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    2. i don'tthink i got the wrong person,i shall ask mr anon then for double-confirmation.LOL

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    3. youre such a stalker and youre creepy and I think youre so lack of attention..

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    5. i don't need of that attention (i'm adding shin y out of goodwill)

      I DON'T DISTURB YOU nor do any harm to people and who are you to go around and said i'm creepy and lack of attention!

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    6. im no one, dont bother la.. you wont let these things get to you wont you? because its not the truth kan what i say! dont be so perasan please, i didnt say its you pun..

      siapa makan chili something something la..

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    8. lol,now you said about siapa makan chili thingy,you comment on my trail and you said it's not for me.don't say you are no one,everyone is special in our own way....

      ok i won't really bother and take seriously your comment,i just realised your nature.

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    9. Hahaha..Ash Godiva..you have no idea who you are dealing with ; )

      Anyways...we need to unite..no fight *peace*

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    10. Please don't fight, don't fight. Please unite, love and respect each other. We can express but not attack. Everyone is alllowed to be different in opinion but please don't attack. We are in the "same boat". "SATU GAYASIA"

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  4. lol...

    boy arr, dont think so much, no need one, youre just stressing yourself up nia, see like me, i just do whatever i like to do, you dont have to be gay, you are either gay, or you are not!!! like you are a boy, you dont have to accept that you are a boy cos you are boy.

    gay is something that makes you you, not you wanting to accept yourself gay or try to be gayer?!?! and being gay doesnt affect your life, you are still human, you have friends, you eat, sleep and go out.. there are no gay food, gay drinks or gay shopping mall.. got la gay clubs and etc but thats not the point, being gay just means that infinitely you are attracted to the same sex, period.

    and like you dont have to make yourself more likeable to the same sex.. what nonsense is that? hahahahaha.. you just eat well, exercise well for YOURSELF, dont change for other people, if youre happy and confident with yourself, both guys and girls will be attracted to you eventually..

    yes you are young(and so am i lol *FLIPS HAIR*)... lots of things to discover and explore! but for now just enjoy life and dont stress so much of unneccessary stuffs lor.. not like youre gonna gg tomorrow also..

    AND dont be bi, either gay or straight! lolllllll hahahahaha....

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    1. *Massaging my eyes* You wrote a lot...lol

      Well, for you second paragraph when you truy accepted yourself then only will realize the thought you said - "gay is something that makes you and being gay just means that infinitely you are attracted to the same sex."

      Nothing wrong to improve my appearance..just try expand my market..LOL but totally agree with you that CONFIDENCE is important = D

      Hahaha..I'm happy being gay now ; )

      Thank you for your long..advices? Anyways, we will continue to explore the world no matter what..*Flips hair* (was wanted to do this desperatey..LOL)

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    2. *flip hair* few wit!!! your hair long enough or not wor!?!?!? :) hahahahaha.... young is virtue, make sure you explore everythng when youre young! dont wait till old old only want to explore later too late liao! hahahaha.. i know things are never too late, but it'd be easier if youre younger :)

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    1. its good that you express yoruself la mr undernourished, no need to delete one!! im still waiting for your comeback! :)

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    2. I think he really scares about you...lol

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    3. im the most harmless guy in town lollllllll...

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    4. Thx tuls n Shin Y. I really feel motivated to be back very soon. I just wanted to say that I could feel how he felt. The meaning of life is really a tough question really.

      I am quite old d (but still less than 30 k)and I think growing up as a gay has been tough socially and psychologically especially as a passive and shy person. Society is not very kind to a person like this you know...because men are expected to be tough and when you are weak, people will despise you and not lend a hand. Unlike being girls, guys(str8) will be always friendly to them and respect them. I feel really sad.

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  6. What will be will be. Cheers.:]

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  7. well welll, u are still young(younger than me anyway,DAMN!), lots of time to lose and discover. There's nothing as 'too late' if u keep trying =) so, go out and explore everything, not jsut one side of the world

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    1. Okay buddy!! Was just a bit emo..lol

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  8. One of those days...
    i know, I used to have them real bad...then I realize...no one loves you more than you love yourself, so if u cant even accept urself, who will?

    but to make things better, try not to think, and enjoy life.
    it's short, and you want the best out of it

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