Monday, 9 July 2012

Coming out to your parents

I have read a interesting article about should gay come out to parents by Mr. Michael LaSala. Researchs showed that kids came out to their parents, on average at age 17, with some coming out as young as 14, which is a good sign but unfortunately is in US. However, he as a openly gay writer still warn people don't simply come out to their parents because they are still many parents still can't accept and reject their children for being a homosexual. He suggested a few things to let us take note whether it is right time to come out or not:
Making decision
1. They often say things that are anti-gay or homophobic. (Knowing my mum for many years, she definitely a anti-gay person =( well my dad still okay...I hope)
2. They have threatened to hurt you if they ever found out you are gay. (Not really have touch this topic)
3. You are financially and physically dependent on your parents. (Totally x.x)
4. You would be devastated if they reacted badly.
5. Your "gut" says not to.

Before you tell your parents, there are some guidelines too.
1. Have a worst case scenario plan.
2. Gather your supports. (Better to have support from close friend who know who you are or gay friend who had the experience of coming out to parents)
3. Decide that you will be OK no matter what happens. (We must!!)

When telling them and after that
1. Reassure them that you are happy and healthy.
2. Don't expect them to adjust right away. (Even for myself to accept it also took quite some time so parents need more time to adjust and adapt)
3. Get them educational resources. (I think this is important because let them expose to those other parents who still facing it and have overcome it, to share their thought and experiences)

In my opinion, there is no right or standard timing to tell them, but when you're feel right and have considered many things then just go for it. Although the outcome might not you expected, you still have face it one day. Well, to me I still have the thought to run away from my country and live at a new place to start a new life, but I know it is kind of dream because I can't just leave and don't contact my parents at all...

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