Cheated on You

Okay..I think this topic is not new or can say is quite common among us..straight or gay..still the same??? I'm not sure about it since I only heard stories (close friends...friend's friend..etc.) around me and no experience.

When you say cheating in relationship, people normally think is the guy cheated on the girl. Well, many people say men use their little buddy to take action first then only use their brain to think.

Hence, I can hear a lot stories about gay relationships mostly come to the end because of cheating, not because of  personaliy doesn't match..blah blah blah. Maybe people just generalise or overfocus cheating as the reason.

What would you do when your partner cheated on you??? Forgive? Straight away break up?? For me, I can foresee I will forgive him if he still has feeling for me, but not for the case he wants break up. I will straight away cut it off when he says that term because I know begging him for stay is pointless.

Then come to a point, if your partner cheated a lot but always beg for your forgiveness and says still love you so much?? Sigh...when you are in love, you have no idea how rational you would be...I guess

MV about cheating (don't know cant insert the official one)..of course the main reason is the guy in the MV..totally my type!!!!! HOT!! Anyone know thai and tell me his name??..lol

Gay Soulmate?

Do you believe everyone got soulmate?? What? Gay cant have soulmate? Of course we do. Anyway, If you believe, which means everyone will end up with the loved one, but how about those wo live alone until death?

Since I believe in it, so came out with own explanations - there are three explanations
1. You able to meet your soulmate but she/he died early than you.
2. You failed to recognize your soulmate (it's possible)
3. Your soulmate died before both of you can meet (this one so...unfortunate and sad -.- )

Maybe it sounds so silly to believe in such thing, but if you believe in it then you will encouter one. Law of attraction =)

We maybe give up..feel depressed..fall in darkness...lose hope...hate the world WHEN finding a serious relationship, but hold on that believe you may meet your soulmate. SO WHAT if you end up alone..at least you won't regret from what you did and for sure you will discover happiness throught the journey.

"We were given: Two hands to hold, two legs to walk, two eyes to see, two ears to listen... But why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else. For us to find." - Youtuber ..lol

 

 

 

 



Therapies for Us..okay maybe just me

Got one therapy that can work on many people, and it's called shopping therapy!!! Been a bit emo for few days so I decided went out to have some fresh air or shopping... ; )

I dragged my mum to go shopping because I no need to pay anything...LOL Okay..mummy I promise you I will bring you go crazy shopping when I'm working =)

In the end, I didn't buy anything becasue went to wrong mall =.= shops at there not so my taste except H & M ; ) but....waiting their new season coming so..tahan first xD

Well, at least had window shopping better than nothing, it also made me felt a bit better, but I didn't expect something would made me felt better ; ) There were mxied martial art tournament at the mall!!!

Stated mixed matial art, what I saw was more like boxing only. The main reason to watch that because wanted to spot hot guys and I made a right decision because all contestants are around my age or just slightly older ; )

Got one Chinese contestant..damn HOT!!! Not really muscular but lean and toned well...six pack is confirmed. The face oh my so nice could't believe he joined this tournament. I went to beside the stage but forgot to take pic... D: too focus on the fight.. and  ehem ehem..you know.

Have some eye candies also a therapy for me...lol now I felt better and glad Alvin also okay now.

The fight quite scary, I could see blood on the floor after this ..O.O

That guy looks like this..poor face kena hit..

Heartbreaker...

Continue from last post ....I finally decided to talk with Alvin about all the things, and to end our relationsip.

I went to his place without informed him and he was quite surprise and happy at the same time. I'm that kind of can't hide thing, so he ver fast noticed something wrong with me.

I told him everything...what I feel..what I have decided. When I was telling him, he said he kind of knew this going to happen and already started crying. I know it's cruel, but I want make thing clear so I continue talking.....

Of course, during that time, there were a lot of Q & A for us..he asked a lot of whys and wanted to know more. He also tried something to see can make me change my mind, but for what I reacted he finally realized I really decided and confirm for it.

He just asked me to give him last hug and then he cried out loud..like really loud. My sense of guilt totally magnified until I couldn't control. When I was leaving, he was calm down but still could see the tear still running.

After I back home, he texted me he was okay now, just hope we still can be close friends. From all the messages, I can see that he still hope one day I will have feeling for him and go back to him, but I don't want give false hope to him. Hence, I just said can be friends but not sure about close friends. Just follow the flow.

I have been emo for past few days.....and of course next few days too. I never expected everything happened so fast...started fast and ended up fast. I would become  heartbreaker.....I always thought I will the one being hurt....

Life!! Sigh......maybe next time is my turn since I believe in Karma...

The terrible moment

As I said before, I still not sure how I really feel for Alvin, and need some times to figure out. He also knew all of these. (Going to be long post...so..ya)

One of my friends who is quite close with me, noticed something has bothering me, so wanted to know anything happen to me and she willing to listen. I couldn't tahan anymore so I spilted out everything that bothering me...how I feel..my normal responses.etc

S: OMG!!! Shin Yong!! You actually don't like her!! (haven't come out to her so...I said is a girl =.=)

Me: What makes you said so??

S: You see..from all the things you told me, I can confirm  you doesn't like her as partner more like just friend only and....

Me: ......go on.

S: From my opinion, you just got into the relationship for the sake of want be in relationship, you did it is not because you like her. You keep saying there are problems between both of you and need times blah blah blah (she really did say blah with high pitch)...are non-sense!! If you really like her every problem is not a problem and that's no little like or like very much..like is like. Like very much is love already. You just finding excuses to avoid something you don't want to face.

Me: Maybe deep down my heart I like her? I treid aviod what?

S: From all the things you told me...to be honest, I really don't think you like her, maybe got some but it's for normal people like stranger you just met and that kind of feeling regardless of gender. What you want to avoid? Seriously?? You sure know it..you want me to say it??

Me: Just say it!

S: Denyingyou did the wrong move and you going to break her heart badly. You don't want be the bad guy or scare of being that. I know you...you just don't want face the feelings of guilt.

Me; (My eyes almost full of tear but I controlled) .....what can I do? I feel like I'm a jerk now.

S: Go back home and really think about it. You sure what to do and of course you are not a jerk. Jerk won't feel bad and guilty. I know you gonna feel so horrible in next few days. Please talk to me when you can't control or whatever!! Sometimes there are things that we cant control so...don't hurt yourself okay?

Me: Okay. Thank you so much. Means a lot.

(S  saidnothing and just hugged me for a while)

I went back home and think about it whole night. At one point, suddenly everything became so clear and I couldn't stop crying. Crying for what I have done...crying for did something stupid...crying for me who I also can't forgive..crying for gonna break someone's heart. Swear to God, I writing these is not because I want somebody pity or say something make me feel better.

I really felt all of these.......I just.........couldn't stop crying...

I'm in danger??

Well, I think the relationship went too fast unitl I can't breath properly...still got a lot of things run through my mind...confusion. @.@

I still try to figure out my true feeling as soon as possible because I don't want waste his time. Alvin just asked me take my time, but he already asked want meet his parents and friends or not =.= ...of course as friend. I rejected because I don't want so fast get into each other's life completely.

Anyway, I still have some nice times with him. One day, he confessed or told something to me.

Alvin: You know...I had a stalker before and I kind of gave wrong signal.

Me: Oh! Okay..not surprise even though I have none, so what happened then?

Alvin: Not normal stalker..creepy one. He even threaten me to end his life to get me.

Me: .........

Alvin: Hahaha...I think he is done with me. Oh! He is older than us and quite tall..around 185. He is taekwondo black belt and know kickboxing.

Me: =.=" Are you serious?

Alvin: I'm really not kidding...don't worry I won't get you involve if he sitll not over me xD

Me: I hope he got new target..if not I just going run away from you..hahahaha

Alvin: =.=

I shall work very hard in gym now..to protect myself.....

Boyfriend??

Okay..erm...I'm someone's BF now but still on the stage to trying out. I still not sure whether we can work it out.

For current stage, we just like live-in-the-moment, and don't think about how's the future will be. I shall name him Alvin..yes I talked about him before...the first date of my life.

I can say I'm just very like but not until love him...saying love you is a big time to me. I think I need a lot of times to think about it. Although he already said it LOL, I still don't want let him has high expectation for this relationship.

I know it sounded so pessimistic but I really new to relationship so everthing have to be careful. I'm very honest to Alvin about what I feel, he also understand it and will just takes it slowly.

I still can't believe I like him as in he is not good looking at all..lol and younger than me. Actually, he also said the same thing "You are not good looking at all, but I still like you " not sure should feel ouch or melt =.=

Your Life My Life

I bet we all have the moment when looking at someone life and wish yourself could live the life like him or her.

I do that quite often, even sometimes I observing my mum's life, I also wish I could live like her..lol However, I know I can't just simply conclude by just looking what I can see, there are many things I don't know about that person's life.

Walking on the street, see someone with nice car..wearing all branded stuff and good looking face..automatic feel the envy fully occupied your mind and "Sigh..I wish I were him."

Well, human always look at othert's fortune and overfoucs on own misfortune. We always seeking for what we don't have, while neglecting what we have. Now I start to learn treasure all I have and satisfy my life, even it's boring life, for somebody it's a bless for them.

What I suddenly writing all these? because I realized that not everything I can see is everything, sometimes people's mind and heart are very hard to understand and predict. He is always smiling to everyone but his heart maybe bleeding all the time.

"All I can say about life is...enjoy it!"

Lessons from Jack'd

*Just something came out from my mind due to boredom, different people different experience and thought. You may also think.."Bitch please, now only you know?"*

1. There are three types of people - seek fun, look for relationship and open to anything,

2. Regardless of what type they are, if no face or nice body picture, most people see you as invisible, because there is a chance that person is ugly, few people dare to try.

3. If stating looking for relationship, don't expect them don't care about how you look, please!! even I also a bit superficial.

4. No matter how great your personality are, at there rarely got people put personality as priority. For most human, appearance attracts people first, no one can straight away know how great your personality are.

5. However, good description about yourself might got other people's attention, same theory if you got bad description, it is kind of turn off even you are hot.

6. You still can find decent guys or even boyfriend at there, just depends how you think..law of attraction..lol

*All from Mr. Google, not my phone =) *

First Date..real one

Okay..this time was really a date, nothing naughty and sexy involved. I also didn't expect this coming..

I shall name him Alvin at here, so worry that he will find out my blog. I got to know him online and he is those who really into relationship stuff and doesn't like hook up.

At first, we didn't really go well with each other. We argued a lot online because different point of views. In the end, we wanted to meet up and argue face to face...lol

I went to pick him up, and had dinner at a mall. Omg!!! I didn't know he is 180 tall!!! Plus younger than me. Luckily, my height still can handle.

You know what? We did a lot of things that we both also didn't expect. I thought it just going to be normal meet up and argue about something, just hope no bitches fight or slap..xD

To summarize, we shared food, held hand, kissed each other's cheek (when dropped him back). O.O To be honest, he is not good looking at all and younger than me. However, his mind is more matured than me -.-

We have a lot of things in common (except some thoughts xD) until we also...wow...but I still not sure how I really feel for him, so does him.

We just gonna see how it goes, even though what we have done seem already escalated so fast. LoL

Oh! It's so nice able to talk with Wind Wind and soul , they really gave a lot of support to me. Feel so comfortable to talk with them. Of course, especially you - Wind~  hahahahahaha

Brainwash

Recently, I'm very busy for exam and assignments. Still got a lot are coming..arrh..stress!! stress!!

That's why need to escape for a while, and there are many ways to reduce stress and feel relieve, I chose the naughty way since I also horny. ; )

Well, arrange the appointment with Mr. P., because recently it's quite hard to meet him. As usual, had cuddle pillow talks before and after.

Throughout all the convo, I really think that he tried to indirectly brainwash me to don't believe in relationship and love.

Like talking about his couple friends who dated 10 years, in the end still broke up..blah blah blah. Well, I just buat bodoh and didn't say much about relationship. I still believe in it.

He is kind of optimistic?? When I asked what happen he turns older and older, no more market? He just said he still can enjoy other things in life, just live and die alone... =___=  not sure what his ex has done to him...

This made me think about whether many of us want a relationship because we afraid of living alone in older age or maybe it's just minor part of having relationship..hmmm

Like his smile ; )

Guy with tattoo ; )

*Just my own preference, no offend for those really love to tattoo* = )

Do you like guys with tatto? Is it a bonus point for you?? Make the person sexier? ; )

For me, it's a bonus point when the guy has tattoo, BUT have to see the coverage area and the position of it. Ya..I know sounds so picky...well we all have our own preference  ; )

Mr. P got a nice tattoo on his arm and I like it even though I will be happier if the tatto was at waist area ; ) Yes! I like a guy with tattoo on waist..big bonus point!!! xD

However, the if the tattoo is like cover almost the waist area, it's a bit too much for me. Plus, the design and pattern also have to be acceptable..imagine his tattoo is a random dog head or ugly pattern. It's kind of turn off...

What you all think about it? Or anyone got tattoo on their bodies? ; )

He is hot!! but tatto a bit too much

This one still acceptable ; )

Hmm...quite okay.

Like like!!It looks like Mr. P one ; )

Waist!! but tatto...still can la xD

Totally bonus point for everything!!! LOL