Have been busy for so many things, not sure I really still want to continue my part-time job and study at the same time. I think I can handle or force myself to adapt as to improve my bad time management. Always listen those students who go oversea study will study while having part-time job, since I planning to go study abroad so I shall start get use to it. However, I'm so scare can't handle my grade well.
Anyways, back to my tittle, I went to few gathering and the 'famous' question sure popped up - "Where is your girlfriend?" or "When are you get a girlfriend?" Normally, I just smile and say still finding because I really not sure what to say. Inside my heart may scream boyfriend not girlfriend becuase I'm gay. Well, one of the gathering got one friend said "Maybe not girlfriend, is boyfriend" With my good control of facial expression, I just smile only and then let it slowly change topic.
I bet some of my friends sort of suspect about me because I have never told them about love life and any stories about crushes. I only once misleaded my friends about I had feeling for one girl and then the girl got boyfriend, they all soft of indirectly came to comfort me and asked me to move on. Oh well, I still quite close with that girl until now, so they may think I still haven't moved on after many years. Not sure is a good thing or bad thing.
Got one time, hanging out with college friends, they somehow went to topic about coming out and then they asked me when am I going to come out from closet jokingly. Without hesistate, I said coming out soon, (That was the time I truly accepted who I am), they felt shock for a while then laugh out loud cause thought I was joking too. Hmm..I also not sure when I am going to come out since I still haven't really stepped into gay world yet.
u got the courage. i just keep on lying myself and everyone around me by creating an imaginary girl friend. gay in malaysia especially city like kuching hard to accept by the community.
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