LOST

There are people don't know what they want in their life, and might just live freely without any purpose until the end of their life. There are also people know what exactly they want and used their whole life to achieve that dream or goal. Do you know what you want or found any purpose of your life?

To be honest, I still don't know what am doing now is what I want even though I'm satisfied almost everything in term of working, relationship and etc. One day, my boss called me and had a talk with me. She said I'm lost and don't know what I want. According to her, it's something personal that I need to overcome by myself if not anywhere I go will still be the same....LOST.

Not showing off but I know I have been living comfortably since I born because my dad settle everything. I no need to worry about no car, no place to live when I live by myself, no money to spend when jobless etc. However, is it a good thing for me? I used to have a thought giving up everything, and go to a new place without any support of my dad. Can I really survive? or do I really willing to leave my comfort zone?

My dad also encourage me to be more independence because maybe when he getting older and older. He is the one who need my support for living, I can't rely on him every single time. I also used to have dream which is join those volunteer organizations and go around the world or locally help those people who needed help the most. However, I thought that dream is a bit unrealistic for me because knowing myself, I don't think I can handle and live that kind of life.   

 Maybe I had that dream because I felt like need to do something meaningful in life.

For love life, of course I got complaints yet sweet memories at the same time. Sean rarely shares what in his mind, so sometimes I also feel lost about what are we now. Is he still happy spending time with me? or blah blah blah....but I know it will go endlessly if I keep ruminating like this. Holding advice from my friend, we will never know what happen next, so I just appreciate and value all the things I have including him. Maybe I know one thing I want in life is him so put too much thought on him while he knows most of the things he wants so our priority is a bit different.   

Hence, I need find out what I want from other parts of my life and put more effort on them. Life is not just about love, I have my own life need to work on too. Think properly about my future, and find a better way to be more independence and looking for right direction of life.

Find your purpose of life and rock the world!!! xD

 

Things Learnt From Sean

Well..well time flies, Sean and I have been together more than one year. We didn't do anything for our anniversary, and I think Sean didn't even realize it was. Don't know..he is like doesn't like celebration even his birthday. I wrote a lovely note to him and he did nothing. To be honest, I felt a bit upset but that is him who I love, nothing to complain just accept it. Okay la.. at least he got replied a short sentence with sweet words for my note, I feel satisfied.

By saying that, I actually learnt few things from Sean or in our relationship..

1. Always need to have backup plan because he has the ability to make my plan or surprise fail. It's a good thing though because I can apply in my workplace. Now I got the habit always think of plan B.

2. The beauty of distance. He is busy most of the time and we hardly can spend nice time together, but I realized being together doesn't have to stick together all the time. Sometimes, we need to spend our times for others. We are just part of each other's life not as whole.  The feeling of excitement is great when seeing him after some times.