Fear of Losing Loved One Forever

I always know that life is short, and treasure what you have. I also know it's very painful when you might losing someone you love the most.

Recently, I truly understood what those mean. My mum is diagnosed with cancer, and it totally changed our life. The day I knew about it, I didn't know what to respond because it was my mum broke the news to me. Not sure it's a good thing because she still able to make fun of it, like "Doctor said only few months left.....just kidding la~~" =.=

First night, I could only hide and cry about it. People always think bad things will not happen to them, so did I. I really can't believe I have to face this kind of situation. It's on third stage..a lot things went through my mind, is it can be fully recovered? would it come back again? what my mum have to go through?

One night, my mum came into my room, and said she feels sorry because she will become a burden to us. During that moment, my heart was broken into pieces, because I could feel that how afraid and worry she is, about what she going to face.

I know I have to be strong, so that I can give my full support to her. Soon, we will have discussion with doctor about the treatment. I'm ready for it and won't easily let anything to bring me down. My dad and brother have already done a lot of research about the cancer.

Luckily, all of us are still quite optimistic about it. We believe that everything will be alright as long as we support each other.

I love my family =)

At here, I also encourage you all try persuade your parents to go for regular checkup especially they are after 50 years old. Prevention is always better than cure. 

I'm Seriously An Idiot

There is a wise advice to people, which is think before you speak. However, I totally fail on this. I did something very terrible to someone.

Jacky is my ex-date, and after few dates we didn't contact for quite long. After that we still got like each other post on social apps. One day, I was quite bored at home, so keep finding friends to chat. Then, I saw Jacky online, and I felt like want to know how he is doing. Hence, I started chatting with him.

The conversation was going smoothly, and throughout it we supposed to go out for dessert la but I accepted first then suddenly felt lazy, so I indirectly made it not going to happen =( After that he still cool with it, not until I said something terrible which I never thought would be SO OFFENDED.

Currently, I have feeling for someone and trying to chase after him. Hence, when I said I will ask Jacky out soon, I added this "but as friend not date" He suddenly pissed off and asked what do I mean??

I was shocked and couldn't think properly so simply said I'm seeing someone so want to make it clear (actually still nothing happen between me and that guy, I just want to let him know my heart got someone ady T.T). He was quite angry about it and said I should go find that guy not him.

Friend told me I should think before I type and be more empathy. This time I really didn't put myself in his shoes. Think about it, it is really offended to someone. I'm so selfish to just say I want to say without think further.

I'm so so sorry to Jacky T.T I always think I'm socially awkward person, now it proves that I should either don't talk to people or go attend talking skills class x(

In the end, he got apologized if he said something too over. Hope he is still okay. Maybe I should just talk to Ryan and don't disturb other people's life =(